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Do I have Your Attention Now?

So besides being completely inspired by our conversation with Kaytlin Bailey on Episode 47: Reclaiming the Narrative Around Sex Work, and if you have not listened yet, stop everything and do that now, I was inspired by a phone call I had with Stephanie earlier in the week.


So let me set the stage, it was Tuesday morning and Stephanie called me on the phone. She was telling me all about a photoshoot she and her friend did together in Orlando, where they were wearing lingerie and having some very saucy pictures taken. She was telling me how the photographer, who was a man, was very respectful, and how he posted a reel of the behind-the-scenes of that photoshoot on Instagram, where you see Stephanie and her friend in their saucy attire. Stephanie then proceeds to tell me that in the first 3 hours that reel got posted it had 12,000 likes.


So here is where my frustration starts. Stephanie says she wanted to talk with me about the possibility of her posting a reel in lingerie on our Instagram to get attention for Cycle Chats, I was silent. She paused and asked me how I felt about that, and honestly, I was holding back tears. She knew the conversation made me uncomfortable because I have a very strong opinion of who Cycle Chats is and her purpose. So here we are almost 5 days later, I have pondered, dreamt, and endlessly thought about this question, why do I have to dress “sexy” to be noticed?


It actually makes me physically angry about the fact that a reel of women in lingerie got 12,000 likes whereas a reel we did about domestic violence education got 50 likes? Why can’t women be seen as more than just sex? Why can’t I use my intelligence to get noticed? I am so sad that the world is a place where people just want to escape instead of dealing with the real issues, and making actual change.


So why do I have to dress “sexy” to be noticed? Are we to show our boobs and vaginas to get the attention Cycle Chats deserves? In my opinion that is not what our platform is about. I am sex positive individual and I think all bodies and people are beautiful but am I to go against my morals and values and use sex to sell our podcast? Where would it stop?


We would be selling the wrong narrative of who Cycle Chats is. She is a woman who wants to be noticed because of her courage, strength, and intelligence, not because she showed her pussy to the disgusting perverts that think that is all I am good for as a woman. I am so much more than my physical body, but when are we going to wake up as a society and truly start changing the narrative?

Sometimes I doubt that people are actually listening, so what do I have to do to make you listen? To make you see me? To help me grow my business? To show your support for what I am doing to change the world? What do I have to do?


Do I have your attention now?


Love always your Cycle Half,

Emily