Expectations

I was inspired to write this after listening to Lupita Nyong'o on the newest episode of Armchair Expert, my favorite podcast besides my own. She said in the interview, "I'm not allowing your expectations to be mine." This got my brain going and knew I wanted the opportunity to sit with this thought, so here it is...

Expectations are an interesting thing. Often, other people's expectations can be so high that we disappoint them. They can also be so low that we blow them away.

But the worst expectations are the ones we set with ourselves, and when perfectionism is the expectation, we often fall flat.

So we end up being our own worst critic, our own worst enemy, and our own worst bully. 

I set incredibly high expectations with myself, and if I don’t reach those expectations, I am incredibly hard on myself.

And in reality, how is that fair to me? 

Doing my best should be the expectation, not doing the thing perfectly. 

But we do live in a society where we see perfectionism all around us. 

On social media, we have influencers, people who are literally being paid to make you believe a specific narrative, while in reality, they have put on a filter, they have a ring light, and it took 37 takes to get that one perfect shot.

In TV and movies, we see celebrities look flawless, while in reality, they have a makeup artist constantly making adjustments to ensure they are looking their best. 

In magazines, we see models with never a hair out of place, while in reality, they have edited that photo within an inch of its life.

We must stop believing these are the expectations because they don’t exist. 

We need to start setting expectations for ourselves that we can meet. 

I need to do this for me. 

It’s something I have such a hard time doing and that both my husband and I share. We always make a joke that our future child stands no chance.

So, have expectations and hold yourself accountable, but if you did your best, never feel like you failed. Because you didn't.

I hope someone else needs to hear this as much as I needed to write it.

Love always,

Your Cycle Breaker,

Emily