I’ve always had a complicated relationship with money. As an actor, I knew early on that unless I reached a specific level of success, I wouldn’t become a millionaire. Later, when I chose to become a teacher, I accepted that I wouldn’t earn what teachers truly deserve.
For the past four years, I’ve taught at the same university for the same pay. I’ve said it before: I’m lucky to make $20,000 a year. I may not be a doctor saving lives in an emergency room, but that doesn’t make what I do any less valuable. No matter how much I work to change my perspective, society often reinforces the belief that money equals happiness and money equals success.
Lately, a series of unexpected challenges has tested this mindset.
Squash, my cat: Three years ago, he had a severe bladder issue that required a catheter and daily medication ever since. Recently, just before Christmas, we noticed blood in his urine, leading to another emergency vet visit. Thankfully, he’s back to normal now, but the financial strain was significant—and unplanned.
Debit card fraud: My bank alerted me that someone attempted to use my card to purchase pornography (clearly not me—I'm asleep by 11 PM!). Thankfully, the transaction was declined, but I had to cancel the card and wait for a replacement. During that time, I relied on my credit card, which I usually reserve for emergencies. In just a week and a half, I accumulated $400 in debt—money I don’t have but must now figure out how to repay.
Simone, my other cat: Simone attempted a simple jump onto the kitchen island but fell when something startled him. He’s now limping, and a surgical consult is scheduled. The likely outcome? A $3,000 surgery—another expense I can’t afford but must somehow manage.
A flooded bathroom: I walked into our downstairs bathroom to find water pooling on the floor. I managed to handle the situation and, with the help of my in-laws, replaced the vanity and flooring. While their generosity spared me that expense, it added yet another layer of stress.
Patreon struggles: We launched our Patreon about a week and a half ago and have gained only two supporters so far. While I’m deeply grateful for their contributions, it’s clear this endeavor won’t be the extra income stream I had hoped it would be.
These challenges have left me questioning and re-evaluating my relationship with money. As my husband often reminds me, I can’t live in a mindset of scarcity. Scarcity only amplifies the overwhelm. I need to embrace abundance—not in the sense of having more, but in valuing what I already have.
Because here’s the truth: Money doesn’t define success. I’m successful in so many ways—especially in the work I do with my students, which brings me immense joy and purpose. But reframing how I think about money is hard, especially when the world keeps telling us our worth is tied to it.
So, if you’re someone who’s struggling financially and feeling like your value is diminished because of it, I want you to know this: You are worthy. What you do matters. Often, the world isn’t worthy of us—not the other way around.
Love Always Your Cycle Breaker,
Emily
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