Updated: Mar 5
Anxiety and depression are weird…
I am currently going through some sort of anxiety depression “thing.” Episode? Yeah…episode. It started when I was over on the other coast with Cale (the gentleman I’m currently dating.)
It came up suddenly. But prior to this, I had been pushing myself just a little bit too hard. Lots of staying up late. Not really eating well. Too many energy drinks. Not enough water. I suppose this was gonna happen sooner or later. If it isn’t the product of my own doing lol
I have to laugh. It’s so silly to me now. Of course I absolutely detest the way this feels. Who would actually say, “gee, these terribly uncomfortable sensations feel fabulous! I’d love to feel like I need to go to the ER all day!” You’d have to be nuts to actually be cool with it all.
But there is a silver lining! I’m currently writing this journal entry, dread over sensations and all, instead of retreating. See, in the past I would run and hide. I would close my eyes and sleep in hopes that somehow I could nap it all away. Not the case these days. I don’t treat myself like a fragile piece of porcelain. I know I should t be throwing myself around, but I push myself to move through these uncomfortable sensations. I try to tell my brain that I’m gonna be okay by doing and living. When you retreat, you tell your frontal correct (aka your amygdala) that there is something we need to be safe from. It fires off a false alarm. This starts to create bad habits. Negative reinforcement if you will.
All this to say…
The mental health journey is ever on going. So try not to beat yourself up for having a bad day. You’re human. Just don’t let yourself live there for too long. And if you ever need? We’re here. Just reach out.
You’ve got this. Now go do the hard things!
Much Love Always,
Your Cycle Half Stephanie