As women, we are either over or under sexualized. It's rare that we find any balance in the realm of sex and sexuality. I will be the first to admit my own desire to over sexualize myself in the way I dress to own my sex. This of course comes from years of suppressed sexuality, fear and guilt.
Once I was able to free the phoenix, out she came with years of pent up frustration that manifested itself as a rocker chick with bad habbit. Hysterical to me considering she came about when I was the most mentally healthy I had ever been. I think is because I could finally handle the mental territory that came along with the physical display. I wasn't as confident before to fully own the power of my body. I was always so worried about dressing how others thought I would look the best. Keeping my hair at a color and length damned beautiful enough by society. Sure, my inner wild child would peek her head out from time to time. But she would very quickly retreat at any sign of disapproval from the outer world of the male gaze. Now? Through trials, tribulations, and lots of therapy she has set up a permanent residence as owner and CEO of this body with a flag planted in the front yard that says, "Don't like it? Then get TF off my lawn."
But what is owning your sex even mean? Let's take a closer look...
Owning Your Sex, to me, means embracing the simple fact that, as a woman, you are entitled to sexual experiences that will enhance your soul rather than break it down. These type of experiences should leave you feeling more alive and connected to your inner goddess. These are the experiences that teach you what you like and what turns you on. Alternatively, these experiences should also teach you what you don't enjoy and what boundaries in the bedroom you are unwilling to cross.
Owning your sex doesn't mean sleeping with anyone with a heart beat. Now, this is a totally personal choice. If you want to engage intimately with all sorts, be smart. Be safe. Get tested. Wear protection. This is a non-negotiable for me. As it should be for anyone. Your sexual health should be just as important as the health of your head or heart. After all, your lovely bits are also organs! Treat them with some respect.
I digress...owning your sex doesn't mean you HAVE to or NOT have to bed another. That's entirely up to you. But if you are operating from a place of guilt, you will never be able to fully open that place inside you that yearns to experience pleasure. As we know, sex is (and should always be) pleasurable. But it's not the only 'sexy' thing that we can get pleasure from.
We can find pleasure through everyday activities. Expressing ourselves through music or art can make us feel incredibly sexy. The way that song makes you feel as is moves through your ears and into your soul? The way that meal you've prepared tastes as it touches your lips and makes its way into your heart? THOSE are things that allow you to own your sexy. We have been taught that sex should be taboo. Don't talk about it. Don't do it.
But what if we gave ourselves permission to experience the pleasure that naturally occurs within our senses? Allowing each of them to show us that sex is so much more than physical? Take time to learn about what YOU want. Learn about your needs. Learn about your desires. Learn about what lights your passion and pleasure in this life on fire. Life is beautiful if you stick around long enough to experience it.
Now, get out there and EXPERIENCE it.
OWN IT YOU SEXY HUMAN YOU!
Love always your Cycle Half,
Stephanie
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