Shockingly enough, I knew exactly what I wanted to write about this week. My friends (Stephanie, Rebeca, and Yalena) inspired it on Tuesday night's girls' night.
The four of us were sitting at the table, eating appetizers and drinking wine, when Rebeca asked what we thought made a good friendship.
We went around the table, one of us at a time, saying what it takes to have a successful adult friendship or friendship at any age.
I shared how I chose friends who were bullies when I was younger. I did that because of my parents' relationship. It took me a long time to understand what true friendship was, and it's probably been within the last five years that I've finally understood.
As I tell my students now, any relationship is a two-way street, meaning that you should get back what you put out. After almost 32 years of living on this planet, I have realized that having a successful friendship, or any relationship, means just that.
My niece, who is 12, and I were recently talking about her current friend group. She was saying how she wasn't looking forward to having them over for her birthday because they were bullying another one of her friends, and she stood up for her, and then they started bullying her. I told her how proud I was of her for sticking up for her friend and realizing she didn't want to be friends with mean people. I've said this so many times, but in our society, we're told that having more friends means being more popular. When we are young, this is the information that we live by. But as we get older, we start understanding that it isn't the quantity. It is the quality.
So, if you are in any relationship where the other person isn't giving you what you are giving, think carefully about whether you want to keep that person in your life.
Because real friendship is all about the give and the take.
Love Always Your Cycle Breaker,
Emily